there's a movie showing tonight, and my best friend has the lead role. i've been looking forward to it for a couple weeks, and if i had any kind of long-term memory that would be months instead. i remember how excited she was to be part of it during filming. i'm thinking about not going to see it after all. i feel like i cant keep up. for every two steps i take forward, everyone else takes three. is that my fault? maybe. probably. i could blame other things too, i suppose. disability, mental health, the fact that i had...